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Football is back. Great…

Despite the sad end to last season, it was enough to leave me full of hope going into the second season under Liam Manning. This time around, he would be able to make his own signings, have a full pre-season and make sure the players fully understood what he wanted to do. If he could come third without doing all that, surely the next reward would be greater?

After 30 seconds of the season opener against Cambridge, I was convinced we were going to piss the league. We pressed from the off and hit the crossbar through Matt Smith, causing an almighty scramble in the box and an eruption of noise from the away end (one of which I was sadly not part of, instead watching on a stream on holiday – good start).

However, that’s all there was to get happy about because what followed for the next 89 and a half minutes was a scrappy, lifeless performance devoid of any creativity and cohesion. Perhaps understandable given the squad from last season has been ripped up by sales and returning loanees, but it was still a kick to the stomach given the pre-season optimism.

Don’t tell anyone but I actually follow another team if you didn’t know

If that’s what is going to be served up for me in the professional leagues (seems like it is, more on that later), at least I’ve got some non-league football at Leighton Town to fall back on.

It seems like this is finally the year they’re really pushing to get out of the Spartan League and back into the *big time* of what is now either the Isthmian League or the Southern League (it gets confusing at this level of the pyramid). That’s the level they were at when my dad first started taking me down there after the northerner in him succumbed to the prices at MK Dons, and it would be nice to finally say goodbye to teams like London Colney (more on them later too).

Credit: Me. All mine.

This time I actually managed to get down to the game, officially making it my first of the 2022/23 season (I don’t count friendlies, so sorry Dons’ 4-0 win away at AFC Rushden & Diamonds, you were good too though).

They faced newly-promoted Stotfold, who I feel like I’ve seen a million times before even though it’s probably only twice. Leighton started quick and should’ve had a man advantage after five minutes, but such is the standard of refereeing in the Premier League… sorry Spartan League… Stotfold stayed with 10 on the pitch, for now.

Only a couple of minutes after that Leighton took the lead, with Stotfold showing why they were relegated from this league in the first place and producing some calamitous defending for Jack Harvey to take advantage of.

The visitors then went down to 10 anyway with a proper 1970s tackle being punished by the ref, but it actually seemed to make them better and until half-time they looked the more likely to score.

As usual when that happens though, the players probably got a few stern words at half-time and it did the trick, with Leon Lobjoit heading in and Matt Cooper getting a third late on – so late that my dad had just turned up to see it after doing whatever else it is he does on a Tuesday night (does anyone know, actually? I don’t).

Stadium MK return

As much as I love non-league, there is something nice about watching the professionals do it. That is, when they can pass the fucking ball to each other.

Realistically, I can’t be too downbeat with a home loss against Sheffield Wednesday, especially when it was only 1-0 and the goal was a dodgy penalty that happened closer to the corner flag than the box. Wednesday will be up there this season – I find it astonishing how, with the team they’ve got, they didn’t go up last season.

But, my God, if we could have just given them a game in the first half, that would have been nice. Instead what we got was a 0.00000001% improvement on the drivel served up at Cambridge.

Despite losing, it was the defence I was most impressed with. Warren O’Hora is probably our best player now, looking every bit as good as Harry Darling did last season and possessing solid leadership skills at just 23. I also thought Dan Oyegoke did okay in his first ever EFL start and Jack Tucker looks like he’ll be a good addition. But the sooner we can return to a back five and get Dean Lewington away from that left-back position, the better.

The second half was pretty good in fairness and were it not for David bloody Stockdale again, we would’ve got something out of it. Darragh Burns was lively and Matt Dennis, I’m sorry. I slagged your signing off a lot in the summer but you’ve proved me wrong already. Please, just score some goals though.

So, not the best return – and it wasn’t made any better by the fact that my dad had watched Leighton spank Baldock 9-2 in the FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round while I had watched ‘that’, but I sense there’s going to be a lot of that sort of thing this season so I better get used to it.

Back again

Three days later and I was back, this time to watch us take on Sutton United in the Thai Carbonated Energy Drink Cup. I knew it was going to be bad before I even turned up, hence why I only bought a ticket at 4pm after going back and forth on whether to bother, but the reality of it was so much worse.

Chairman Pete Winkelman was on the radio slightly before the game answering as many questions as he could about all the shit things going on around the club at the moment, and in my opinion, all of his answers were fair enough. It was also quite exciting to learn that Red Bull had actually enquired about investing in the club in some capacity a long time ago because I had always assumed that was a myth.

But the fact he had even had to go on the radio to answer those questions after only two league games really didn’t help set the tone for what turned out to be a lifeless affair anyway. Let me get it straight, I understand *why* the club did the things they did for this fixture, like only selling three blocks and in one stand, and only opening one gate, and not printing a programme. It’s all down to money at the end of the day, and clubs have still got to be wary after Covid. Also, all due respect to Sutton, because I do genuinely have a lot of respect for how they’ve come into the EFL and mixed it with the big boys in League Two, but when you’re playing that level of opposition, things like that just do happen. We’re not the first club to do it and we won’t be the last.

This was about five minutes before kick-off. So, so bad.

But God, it was so DEAD (I know it normally is, I’ve heard the library jokes a thousand and one times, shut up). And that translated onto the pitch as well as times. It was just a pretty boring watch, even if technically we were playing okay in comparison to the Cambridge and Sheffield Wednesday games.

I quite liked the line-up too, giving a full debut to Burns and also a debut to Dawson Devoy, both signed from the League of Ireland with a lot of promise. The one that confused me though was Zak Jules. He was loaned out for the second half of last season after barely getting a sniff before Christmas and after having his squad number effectively downgraded from 4 to 33, it seemed as though he’d be off elsewhere in the summer.

I’m guessing he thought that as well, because he certainly didn’t play like he wanted to be there. The body language was off from the start, he couldn’t make a simple pass (just like against Rushden in pre-season, where he was the only player I had a bad thing to say about) and offered absolutely piss all defensively or going forward. I backed him for a long time after he first joined to my mates who took an instant dislike to him, but I’ve now joined their side I’m afraid.

Anyway, we won the game 1-0 thanks to Conor Grant being the only person capable of having a shot, meaning he got Dons’ first goal of the season. Although there were some impressive performances elsewhere, the goal was the only real highlight, despite Sutton having a flurry of chances late on. Thankfully they didn’t score because I’d been up at 4am that day to drive to London and I honestly wasn’t sure I could stay awake any longer.

The aforementioned London Colney

Non-league away days are weird. I think because you get so used to what the home ground is like, you expect similar standards at the few away grounds you visit. That’s how it is in the EFL and it can be hard to disassociate the two when you’re following one team from each end of the footballing spectrum.

After successfully navigating the endless potholes on the 1/4 mile track off the North Orbital Road that leads to London Colney’s ground, I was greeted with a pitch akin to a desert, a clubhouse which was just a standard non-league clubhouse, and a ‘car park’ which was already full despite there being hardly anyone there and was constructed with what looked like just some leftover sand from another project somewhere.

After I’d turned around and driven back to park next to the fence alongside the pitch, I was greeted by a gentleman who said ‘you need to pay’, which I had assumed would be the case because you normally need to do that to watch football, but I had also assumed I’d be allowed to park my car first – silly me!

Anyway, after handing over eight precious British pounds, I nervously left my car about three feet from the side of the pitch, almost convinced that a ball was going to go flying through my window at some point in the next two hours.

Bit dry.

By the way, it was fucking boiling. I’ve no idea how they actually managed to play a game in that heat – I felt like I’d ran a marathon after just walking to the only bit of shade at the ground. So, fair play.

I didn’t have high hopes for it being a good game given the heat and that I’d sat in front of London Colney warming up. It definitely wasn’t the best, but it was worth going just to see Leighton capitalise on some more funny Spartan League defending, this time with Kyle Connolly pumping the ball forward from just inside his own half and see it slip out of the keeper’s hands and bobble over the line to lead 1-0 at the break.

The rest of the game was played at a slow pace, justifiably. But it’s a shame that there’s no sort of statistics collection at this level, because it would have been interesting to see Leighton’s possession percentage for the first half. It must have been 75% at an absolute minimum.

They continued to dominate in the second half and eventually got a second when Luke Pyman headed in, and to be honest after that I just scrolled through the scores elsewhere on my phone – I’d got my eight quid’s worth from the first goal alone.

I wish I hadn’t looked, because Dons were getting pumped at Ipswich and had gone back to being shit after some signs of life against Sutton, and my Fantasy Premier League team dropped an absolute stinker too. Business as usual, then.

The quirks of non-league.

So what do I really think?

Look, I can understand the frustration at Dons. Four games, one goal, no league wins, and honestly, it wouldn’t be half as bad if they were actually playing well and just getting beaten by bad luck.

You’ve got to look at the opposition, though. Cambridge are a very well-coached team and proved a lot of people wrong last season by very comfortably being able to stay up. We’ve never played particularly well at their ground, despite winning twice, and on opening day with some key injuries and almost a brand new team, a 1-0 defeat is excusable.

In Sheffield Wednesday and Ipswich, we’ve played two teams who will be gunning to win the title, while we, really, are going to have to be happy with play-offs at the ‘absolute’ best at the moment. The second-half performance against Wednesday was okay and that seemed to carry on into the Sutton game, which I’d have been shocked if we didn’t win regardless of line-ups, form, performances etc.

I didn’t go to Ipswich – thankfully, because it sounds as though it was fucking rubbish. But again, they’re a top six League One team at worst, top two or three at best, on paper at least – there are games where, sadly, you just get outclassed.

In the long run, I think we’ll be fine. I’m certainly binning off my pre-season prediction of fourth for a little while because until we get going properly it’s going to be hard to judge this team. So early in the season though, you have to have faith that things will come good.

Liam Manning didn’t become a bad manager overnight (or three months after leading us to the play-offs for the first time in what, a decade?) and the players still here from last season haven’t suddenly become terrible either. Give it time and things will improve.

For Leighton, it’s non-league, isn’t it. Things can change so quickly it’s not worth predicting where they could be in the table next month, let alone at the end of the season. But they’re top at the moment and the squad, with a load of acquisitions from far higher up the pyramid (so much so I’d actually heard of some of them before), is the best it’s been in a long time.

I spent a long time not being able to watch these two teams regularly, even before Covid. It’s been nice to get to games consistently this early in the season and hopefully I can stick around and continue to be the bad luck charm I’ve always been for them.

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The job that drained me

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Like, anything. Whether that’s on here (as if that’s even a surprise anymore) or for Last Word, where I’m still clinging on despite not having done anything there for about four months.

Been a bit of an odd one, so far, 2022. In many ways, it’s just been an extension of the absolute shitshow that 2021 was. In others, it feels like I have actually made progress on the things that made it such a shitshow in the first place, although actually producing something to prove that is apparently a difficult task.

Truthfully, I feel drained a lot of the time, which is why when I do get a sudden surge of productivity I try my best to scrawl my thoughts down on here before it evaporates and I end up reverting back to mindlessly swiping through Tik-Tok.

But I used to be better than that. I used to be able to write all day, every day. Very few breaks. Not eating my first meal or taking my first drink well into the afternoon because I was so focused. Admittedly, that’s not great either – you should eat and you should drink before 3pm so please do that – BUT the point I’m making is that I COULD do it, whereas now it feels like a mini-achievement to have had some breakfast and dragged myself to the gym by that time.

It would be easy to blame all of that on Covid. Not that I had it, because evidence would suggest that having gone through three pandemics with nobody in my house contracting it, I am immortal. But to blame the pandemics themselves? Yeah, a little. When it manages to stop the thing you write about most (football, if you haven’t kept up), it’s a bit of a struggle to be arsed about tapping away at the keyboard for six hours a day.

But I can’t pin it all on that – and I don’t. I blame my old job.

I never wanted to say what it was while I was actually working there, but I ‘revealed’ (big exclusive for the seven people that read this) that I had been working at Tesco as a picker for over a year.

Before I started there in January 2021, I had managed to keep my motivation with writing up throughout Covid. It had had its dips, but that’s normal. But the longer 2021 went on, the more I could feel myself slipping away with it.

As it would turn out, no matter whether you’re still getting 7-8 hours of sleep, waking up at 4.30am to go and work a pretty physical (it’s not exactly heavy lifting but you’re on your feet a lot) job that you absolutely despise doesn’t really go hand-in-hand with then coming home to write for three or four hours. And the more you try to keep it up, the less you want to do it.

Obviously, Tesco was my main job at the time, and by the time it came to having to make a choice, I also had my journalism training with the NCTJ to throw into the mix. Unfortunately, proper-job money and training towards no longer having to drag my ass to Tesco beat the thing that I really wanted to do, which was to carry on the (sorry, I’m going to boast) ‘pretty good’ work I had been doing managing Last Word.

And so life at Tesco continued. On paper, it’s a very easy job. You do what the little machine tells you to do. For eight hours a day. That’s standard. But when you’re in a small-ish shop with not a lot of customers, and colleagues that you barely talk to, you feel isolated. And for me, complete isolation like that is bad, because then it means I’m left alone with my head, and that means I can think about absolutely EVERYTHING.

Particularly when I’m tired from having to haul myself to that hell-hole every day, ‘EVERYTHING’ can consist of some pretty crap shit. Thinking back to the old job I actually enjoyed; worrying whether I’ll ever get another job like that; whether I’ll ever get out of Tesco at all; thinking about all the stupid things I’ve ever said; the things I had the opportunity to say to people but never did; all of the embarrassing moments from school; all of the things that DO NOT MATTER, but while you’re stuck in the cycle, your brain will convince you are the most important things at that moment.

And that’s what it was like – for the whole 16 months I worked there. Thinking like that, constantly, is draining. I never thought about it before, but I find it baffling how much of your energy in a day can be consumed by your brain just functioning. It left me with no energy to do anything else. All just for a job. A job I never wanted to do in the first place and knew that I wouldn’t be staying in forever (however much my brain tried to convince me otherwise).

I’ve been out of that place for a month and a half now. I have another job which, while on paper should be much more boring, I find I’m enjoying way more because I’m not bound by the dismal hours and dreary environment of before. I’m more attentive, my sleep is better, I can see my mates more (shoutout to them for finally getting a WhatsApp group together, too).

But the buzz for writing still hasn’t come back, fully. Yes, I’ve sat here for 20 minutes and smashed my face into the keyboard to produce whatever nonsense this is. But writing about football – the thing that I used to be able to do for hours on end – I want it to be like that again. Like 2019, where it was my job, my hobby and the only thing I wanted to do.

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Hard work pays off

Just a quick one, yeah? A little update of sorts.

I’ve been meaning to write something else on here that wasn’t about running because, you know, ✨ varied content✨. However, each day I’ve just decided that, frankly, I couldn’t be bothered so left it.

I will try and do that soon, and I’ll do another Dry Dry January update at the weekend as I’m aware I missed one and I’m sure you’re all devastated by that (it’s going well though, thanks for asking).

Those of you who know me and haven’t just stumbled across this from the three places I share it (most of which are full of people I know anyway…), will remember that back in 2017 I started a journalism course in London. You may also remember that, while I enjoyed it, in the end it didn’t go to plan and I didn’t pass, but still got lucky enough to get a job in the industry. And you may also remember that a pandemic happened and I now no longer have that job in the industry.

WELL, phase one of the return has now been passed, I’m pleased to report. Towards the end of last year I decided I wanted to go back and re-do the course, this time passing and succeeding on merit rather than relying on luck. That, though, meant raising a significant sum of money, which therefore meant I needed a job.

I spent the last two months of that shit show we called 2020 grafting in a warehouse, doing 60 hours a week, to get the majority of it. Although the people I worked with were fine, and I got some cool uniform and memorabilia out of it, I couldn’t have hated every second more. That came to an end just before Christmas, and now I’m working in a supermarket to get the last few hundred pounds that I need.

The key point to this, though, is that I submitted my application to return to the course on Sunday afternoon, and yesterday evening I heard that I’d been accepted to go on without the need for an interview.

The interview part when I did it in 2017 (bare in mind I was 18-years-old, had only ever had two interviews in my life and this course was not designed for people that age) was the most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever done in my life. Though I have no doubt I’d have been fine with it four years later, to have to not do it is a big weight off my shoulders and finally knowing what I’m going to be doing come the end of the year is a major relief.

There were mistakes, and distractions, last time around, but I’m determined to make this one a far different experience to the one I had four years ago. The hard graft in that warehouse so that I could get a second chance at following this dream was definitely worth it. Now I need to make sure I can continue that once the course comes around.

Anyway, hope you’re all doing good. Let me know if not – if you want to – and we can talk. See you again.

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Dry Dry January #2: A couple of tweaks

I had actually planned to write something else before doing this, but such is my extremely hectic schedule at the moment, I lost complete track of time and just never bothered doing it.

It means nothing at this point other than there are two articles in the same series next to each other, which annoys my brain slightly, but the promise of weekly updates on my torture ended up overruling.

As clearly stated in the title, I’ve made a couple of tweaks to the rules/conditions I set out last week and now you can hear all about them below.

Not following a programme

Last time, I said I would pick up one of my old running programmes from the back end of last year about halfway through and see it to the finish again.

But because I find that boring and not particularly challenging seeing as I’ve done it before, I decided instead to run 5km three times a week and knock something off my time with each run.

That might not sound particularly enthralling either, but in my head at least it’s a far greater challenge, especially as I’ve now made it annoyingly hard for myself by doing quite well in the first week.

My goal for the first run was to do it in under 40 minutes, which I did fairly comfortably in the end. However, I didn’t expect to have knocked off three minutes by the end of the week.

A new work schedule in week two and beyond might make this a bit more difficult to follow, but I think sticking to 5km is going to be the way forward for now.

Something to keep me going

As the rules set out only cover January, and the whole body and fitness issues are going to take considerably more than a month to deal with, I needed something to aim towards long-term too.

Someone I follow on Instagram who is a keen runner had been doing these online challenges throughout Lockdown 2.0 and I particularly noticed that the medals he got after each one were really nice.

I had a look and saw there was an Icelandic themed event, and given my weird soft spot for Nordic countries, particularly Iceland, I thought I’d have a go at that one.

It’s basically a virtual race around the ring road of Iceland, logging each run I do as I go along. At over 1,300km, I decided it’d probably take me most of the year to do that, so hopefully by Christmas 2021 I’ll have a shiny medal to ease the pain of the blisters on my feet from running a stupid number of miles.

How’s the rest of it going?

The rest of the rules centred around food/drink and sleep. One of those is going fairly well, and the other not so much.

On the drinks front, I’m finding it pretty easy – one coffee to aid with the waking up process, and nothing but water after that. I don’t drink alcohol much at home anyway and I’ve only really missed Dr Pepper from the others.

Food started well but has dropped off a little bit. I’m hoping that getting back to work next week will put me in a bit more of a routine with that (although it never exactly stopped me before). If anyone can recommend healthier things to eat when I don’t really need to eat anything then I’m all ears.

Sleep hasn’t gone too well. I set the Bedtime thing on my phone to tell me to go to sleep by 11pm every night and I think I managed it once. I’m pretty certain that will change by next week, though.

Overall, I’m happy with the first week. I don’t feel like I’ve lost anything in terms of weight, which I’m not worried about after only one week. However, I do feel like it’s done me good mentally and that’s as good as anything given everything that is going on at the moment.

The most challenging part of week two is going to be adding work into the equation, I think, but I’m confident I can stick at it.

I haven’t got a choice to, really, otherwise I’ll have nothing to write about on here…

Enjoy your week – stay safe and stay sane.

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What the hell are you doing?

‘What the hell are you doing?’ is likely what the cat was thinking when I picked him up and started taking photos of us like in the main picture. It might also be what you’re thinking having seen said photo attached to a blog post that also has my name on it.

Yep, it’s come to this. I suppose after four-and-a-half years of writing things on the internet a personal blog was a natural progression, as much as I previously tried to avoid it. Here we are, though. Lockdown after lockdown has finally rendered me bored enough to take the plunge and actually try this out.

It’s not entirely down to that – I do actually enjoy writing. I’ve been doing enough of it and it was actually my full-time job for a year-and-a-half pre-pandemic. You never know, this could eventually turn into something like that as well, but we’ll decide that once the one-year subscription I bought for this domain expires.

I figured that if I want to get back into writing full-time, I have to be seen to be writing quite a lot of the time while I’m sat at home. Therefore, that’s why I’m here – to share with you all (maybe not all) the things that you don’t know (or maybe do know) about me, while hopefully making it entertaining and a worthwhile intrusion into your day.

Being an avid football sufferer, there is likely to be a fair amount of content on the sport I have such a love-hate relationship with. However (and for those of you know me, this is where the big twist comes in) that’s not ALL there will be!

My overall aim is to show I’m not just a creator of football sentences, but that I can also do it with other topics like running, health (both physical and mental), lifestyle and all manner of other things that pique my interest.

If I do something different, I’ll try and write it down on here. If I go anywhere exotic (given current restrictions, Southend is probably as exotic as it’ll get) I’ll whack something up. Basically, it’ll be like me having a YouTube vlog channel without having to spend all of my furlough money on a worthwhile camera and an overpriced microphone.

Hopefully you enjoy reading all of the stuff I put on here as well. If you don’t, be nice about it and move on quietly. If you do, share it about and show your friends and see whether they like it too.

That’s enough for the extended introduction. I’m off to plan what the first actual post is going to be about because I still have no idea.

Until then, stay safe, keep two metres apart from strangers and wash your damn hands.